interactive valentine
This was made by Emmy Cicierega. How surprising that the original poster seems to have forgotten this.
(To clarify, I don’t mean Dean, who is a fine and upstanding gentleman who simply reblogged it)
One last collection from my Twitter archive: a very short, extremely erotic love story. I figured I should post this while it still has my Valentine’s Day avatar and name on it.
Hi, I’m Guy Fieri
Here is another collection of past tweets. These may be the most popular ones I’ve ever written and are probably the only thing I will be remembered for when I die.
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Hi I’m Guy Fieri and today we’re eating at Arby’s. Don’t judge me, Big Beef and Cheddars are on sale. I’m only human
Hi I’m Guy Fieri and today we’re at a special diner where you can eat a ghost! Ghostburgers is an Illinois landmark and the secret ingredien
Hi I’m Guy Fieri and this is Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives, and here’s a new segment called “I Will Fight Anyone.”
Hello. I am Guy Fieri’s cousin, from old country. This cheeseburger sandwich is very currency!
Hi I’m Guy Fieri. Have you seen my sunglasses? Oh, there they are, on the back of my head. I’m just bein’ silly guys
Noir Fiction
I finally got access to my Twitter archive. By request, here are my #noirfiction tweets from quite a ways back:
She was a nutty broad, with hair that was bonkers, and legs that just didn’t make any sense at all #noirfiction
She had a pair of legs that wouldn’t quit, no matter how politely you asked #noirfiction
She was the kind of dame where you couldn’t wait for her to leave so you could write about her on your blog #noirfiction
It was a dark and stormy…. DAY #noirfictiontwists
Her legs only went halfway up and then there was just an inescapable shrieking void, like all women #noirfictiontwists #noirbydavesim
She had legs that went all the way up, and so did the rest of her. “Get back down here,” I said. She looked at me and said “No” #noirfiction
She had a nice set of legs, and then a second, less-nice set she’d found in her foyer. That’s why she came to me. #noirfiction
Her legs were like a metaphor, and the imagery they brought to mind was extreme evocative #noirfiction
She had a body like a poem, and a face like a limerick #noirfiction
She was a real classy broad: top hat, monocle, tuxedo, twirled mustache… oh wait #noirfiction
Normally a dame like this would put me on every edge I had, but nectarines were in season and I had an entire bag. #noirfiction
She had a torso and then two weird lower limbs sticking out of the bottom of it. What were those things #noirfiction
I never cared for conversation, so I let my gun do the talking. Problem was, he was shy too #noirfiction
It’s a dirty job in a dirty city, but I’m not the cleanest guy so that’s fine by me. The name’s Paul Blart… Mall Cop. #noirfiction #blart
He had a face like a stack of pancakes and whenever he talked he sprayed butter and syrup everywhere #noirfiction
She stormed into my office like a hurricane, swinging her arms around and knocking over all my things. “Hey,” I said. #noirfiction
She had a face like this :) and a pair of legs to match < #noirfiction
She had a nice face. It was pretty. She was in my office. I was a detective! It was my first day of being a detective. #noirfiction
She had a pair of legs that ended in rollerskates and the kind of body that could stay upright #noirfiction
She had a face like a zen koan: thought-provoking but impossible to figure out #noirfiction
I am following in the footsteps of several of my colleagues and releasing a pay-what-you-want book of sketches! It is 101 pages and contains drawings from my digital sketchbook file. There are lots of weird creatures, some wizards, a few dogs, several Davises, and much more. It also contains the first Beartato minicomic, “Oh No! A Meteor!” previously available only at a few conventions around 2009. Please take a look if you are interested!
These are the classy print rewards you could get if you back Benign Kingdom Spring 2013 within the next 46 Hours!
Yeah, what they said!
A little under 2 days to get in on this new set of sweet, sweet art books.
